Sometimes, a toxic place should have no position in your life. However, as human beings who live by the gain and loss of money, a workplace seems like a locked in place, especially if you feel that you have no other options, and have pressure from other areas of your life, which is so true for so many.
I found a job when I was 17 and loved it. I came in every Sunday throughout year 12 and did a 9am – 3pm shift to earn a little pocket money. The place ran with myself, a barista and a single chef. Soon enough I had left school and was asking for more shifts, working longer hours. A change in managers brought a change in several staff members and an impact on me. For some reason the manager hired her daughter and put her on the same shifts as me, which was hell. She would leave the dishwashing room a complete mess and say ‘it’s okay, my mum will never yell at us for this, we’re tired, let’s go home.’ Sure enough, I would get the blame. After firing her, our boss left us managerless. And this was a great time. I was working 30+ hours a week and once again enjoying work. After several weeks, a new manager was found. My first impression of her was very much one of those people who are very up themselves. Basically, the first thing she ever said to me was, “I’m basically famous, I’m a great musician, and I’ve been in hospitality longer than you’ve been alive.” Clueless as to what to say I replied, “Cool…” which meant, she hated me from the start apparently. From day dot, the entire atmosphere of the place had changed. We had a ‘famous’ person in our midst and with that fame came bitchiness. I began to hate my work place, which I never had before. I would come into work and it would be just so negative. Being told to leave by the people around me, I would always say that no, I need my job, I need an income, it doesn’t matter if it’s not a nice place, I need it. And I’m sure so many people are in the same position. But if a place or people are having a negative impact on your life, maybe it is time to draw the line between ‘needs’ and ‘wants’.
Yesterday I missed my #postaday. The reason being was because I had a lovely hit of stress come my way. As you know from previous posts, I hate my job and I was called in for a meeting yesterday. The meeting went like this; my manager was 25 minutes late and gave no apology whatsoever, she then asked me to ‘look for another job’ and accused me of using my phone through a staff meeting/training thing I had no warning was going to happen. Which I did use my phone in the middle of a BREAK, because my mum was wondering where I was as I told her the meeting would probably be 20 minutes and turned into two hours without warning. She told me she had footage of me using my phone if I wanted to see it, to which I said ‘yes, please!’ and so I sent her my email address and asked her to send it. I also asked for a reason in writing for my dismissal to which she laughed and refused to give? She then told me to leave the premises for asking for a written reason. SOOO basically after all of that I’m planning on calling the big boss and letting him know all the things she doesn’t know I know.
Turning straight to my work group chat they all congratulated me and said this is a blessing that I’m finally out of that toxic place, which I definitely know to be true. At a time where in my head I was starting to think more positively, I just feel as though everything’s out to get me, and life just seems to be one setback after the other. The past few days I’ve been thinking that maybe University isn’t the right path and maybe I’ll just save up to be able to move out at the end of the year, and have enough money for a holiday to Fiji or Europe. I now have no hope of that happening unless I get a job soon. The thing is, I live in a place where there are no jobs. None. Even places where I know people can’t get me in because they just can’t hire. The only way getting a job for me even seems remotely possible is to move out of this stupid town, but the thing is, I can’t without money. I knew didn’t have long at this place because I was tipped off it would be shutting on July 1st, (to which this stupid manager has been left in the dark, I’m happy to say) but that still meant I had a full month to put some money away and get a new job.
I’m just so angry that I wasn’t able to quit off my own back!! And also the fact that I now work one day a week, not including school holidays, and don’t study or do anything with my life.
I know I don’t have things nearly as bad as other people, so I’m looking at this as a little life lesson to make sure in future, with my next job, to have money saved away because anything can blindsight you and happen in an instant without warning.
Fun times ahead.